![]() Cancer has been more of a life motivator. Cancer has not been my death sentence, although I accept this as my ending. My lifelong attendance to the School of Hard Knocks has taught me many things, but I will have to admit that The Big C has held the most impactful lessons for me. My daily prayer remains “God, please let me be a blessing to others today”. I can handle this and still be a beacon of hope to other people. Instead of becoming angry and bitter, asking God, “Why me?”, I say “Why NOT me?”. All the personal tragedies and traumas of my life have shaped me and strengthened my character. Tomorrow is a dream and there is no promise of its arrival. Let the past remain in the past and learn to just focus on today. I encourage everyone to try to deal with their own personal tragedies to find some inner peace. By letting go of my past emotional injuries, I have released myself from suffering the daily traumas of reliving those experiences. I have since come to terms with all this baggage, and it has served me well in the solo navigation of cancer treatments, as well as living with chronic pain and mobility issues unrelated to cancer. My two failed marriages followed the same destructive pathways, with both spouses being alcoholic abusers and offering no emotional encouragement. I grew up in a dysfunctional household, with little to no parental support, and by age 17, I was on my own with no home to return to. I learned self-reliance at a young age and, for better or worse, independence and stubbornness is at my core. I am grateful that this time around chemo is not nearly as debilitating as the first time and I accept that I will be on chemo for life until it no longer keeps the Beast at bay. ![]() I have adjusted to life with the constant exhaustion, and the memory issues that remain a constant gift of chemo. Treatment of daily oral chemo and hormone blocking medication was started and I began to learn how to live with this now chronic, yet terminal condition. In 2017, I was having problems breathing and after multiple tests, learned that my cancer had returned and spread to my lung, spine, hips and pelvis. Within a year after completing all treatments, my life returned to relative normality, and by the time I was 10 years post-chemo, I KNEW I was cancer-free. Working as an RN through treatment was very helpful as it forced me to focus on helping others and not succumb to fear of the unknown or the side effects of therapies. I trusted my doctors and the medical community. In my mind, I was cancer free and did not worry about a return or spread. I was first diagnosed with stage 2b breast cancer in 2004 and had all the standard treatments – surgery, chemotherapy, radiation, followed by 5 years of oral medications. I have learned that if nothing changes regarding diet, activity level and lifestyle decisions, the triggers that caused the cancer remain and despite chemotherapy and treatment, the cancer may return. I have made drastic changes where I could, including removing as many of life’s stressors as possible, although I continue to work on this daily. I accept some responsibility in lifestyle choices and environmental exposures. ![]() It is just something that has happened to me. It is not my enemy, my nemesis, a dive into a bad gene pool or punishment for past sins. Cancer is not my friend, a blessing in disguise or even a wakeup call from a life of indiscriminate toxic exposures. ![]()
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